The Joy of Connections: 100 Ways to Beat Loneliness and Live a Happier and More Meaningful Life

Description:

NATIONAL BESTSELLER • In Dr. Ruth’s final book, the iconic therapist offers an urgent guide to combating loneliness with 100 ways to increase connectivity right now, based on insights from her life story and her unparalleled career.

“Dr. Ruth’s strategies are essential for building the kinds of bonds that will reduce loneliness and transform lives.”—Gretchen Rubin, #1 New York Times bestselling author of The Happiness Project

When Surgeon General Vivek Murthy sounded the alarm that loneliness “represents an urgent public health concern”—exacerbated by social media overuse, the residual effects of the pandemic, and the lack of meaningful relationships—trusted therapist Dr. Ruth K. Westheimer knew that her unique perspective and expertise could help. Long beloved for breaking stigmas around sexual problems, Dr. Ruth made it her mission to help individuals break free from the bonds of hopelessness and isolation.

We are social animals. We have a shared desire to connect and create lasting relationships with the people around us. But the heaviness of loneliness can make this feel impossible. Dr. Ruth, with Emmy Award–winning journalist Allison Gilbert and longtime collaborator Pierre Lehu, tackles the subject with compassion and her trademark no-nonsense approach. She provides practical and creative strategies for finding friends, community, and intimacy. And it’s anchored by Dr. Ruth’s own story, from the horrific loneliness of losing her family in the Holocaust to living in an orphanage to rebuilding her life in America and eventually becoming a world-renowned sex therapist.

With 100 concrete and innovative opportunities that can be put to use immediately, The Joy of Connections isn’t only an action-oriented guidebook on overcoming loneliness from one of the most well-respected therapists of our time; it’s also the vital kick in the pants we all need in order to start seeking—and finding—deep and lasting human connections.

Review

“Dr. Ruth has done it again! If only I could give this book to my lonely twenty-something self.”—Judy Blume

“The more I study happiness, the more I understand that strong relationships are key—perhaps the key—to living a happy life. To be happy, we need to feel like we belong, that we’re connected to others. This is exactly why we need Dr. Ruth’s new book. Her strategies are essential for building the kinds of bonds that will reduce loneliness and transform lives.”—Gretchen Rubin

“Who better to take on the loneliness epidemic than the legend who helped us talk about sex without blushing. As Dr. Ruth knows, our needs go well beyond the bedroom. This is urgent work. We’re lucky to have her in the fight.”—Dan Harris

“With her newest book, The Joy of Connections, my friend and honorary bubbe Dr. Ruth has brought her particular brand of expertise and insight to address the crisis of loneliness. She is as practical, savvy, enthusiastic, and tough as ever—all her best qualities—to help us all face the challenges of loneliness and improve our well-being.”—Nate Berkus

“Dr. Ruth’s brilliance and insight into human behavior will continue to enlighten and support all those whose loneliness and isolation have been crippling.”—Vera Wang

“I understand from my unique perch that Americans are suffering. We need help learning how to reconnect with each other. Dr. Ruth’s wisdom comes at just the right time.”—Sunny Hostin

“Dr. Ruth brings her decades of therapeutic experience to offer a practical approach for building relationships. Her Menu for Connection is a how-to guide for anyone struggling with loneliness. If you have ever found yourself wondering, ‘How can I do this?,’ now you literally have 100 ways!”—Dr. Julianne Holt-Lunstad, director of the Social Connection & Health Lab and lead scientific editor for the U.S. Surgeon General’s Advisory on loneliness and isolation

About the Author

Dr. Ruth K. Westheimer broke stigmas for more than forty years, beginning in the 1980s with her nationally syndicated radio show Sexually Speaking. She authored or co-authored forty-six books on many topics and was named New York’s Ambassador to Loneliness, the first such position in the United States. A beloved therapist known to millions as “Dr. Ruth,” she passed away in July 2024.

Allison Gilbert is an Emmy Award–winning journalist and the author or co-author of numerous books.

Pierre Lehu collaborated with Dr. Ruth for four decades.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

Dr. Ruth’s Menu for Connection

Similar to the colorful plate the USDA uses to recommend which food groups should be consumed for a healthy lifestyle, my Menu for Connection represents the parts of our life that require the most care and attention for building and nurturing meaningful relationships. I created this simple framework to translate decades of scholarly research on human connections and happiness into guidance that you can use right now.

Instead of fruits, grains, vegetables, protein, and a small serving of dairy, I’ve developed one hundred empowering ideas and strategies and divided eighty-eight of them into five parts: “Self,” “Family,” “Friends and Lovers,” “Community,” and a small portion of “Technology.” Each is an essential element of the Menu for Connection. The final twelve strategies are presented in “Your Monthly Calendar” because there are times of the year that offer specific opportunities for building joy and relationships.

While I will explain each portion of the Menu for Connection at the opening of each section, it is important to note that the largest piece, the one that purposefully contains the most opportunities, is “Self.” If you are struggling with loneliness and are ready to make positive changes in how you interact with others, you must first determine what it is about your outlook or behavior that has made you retreat into yourself or push people away. This is not easy to do, but your relationships are more likely to flourish once you put in the work.

Loneliness is an individual experience, and I recognize that each and every page may not resonate, as what’s obvious to you might be illuminating and life-changing to someone else. Some concepts are for those who need help finding and making connections; others are for individuals who already have connections but want help deepening them. My hope is that you’ll take away what you need and transform your relationships based on the cumulative nature of the Menu for Connection.

Let’s get to work!

Self

While it may seem that everyone around you is fulfilled by their relationships, the truth is that most people experience loneliness at some point in their lives. Let that sink in. It’s likely that most everyone you know, everyone in your neighborhood, everyone you walk by on the street, has felt the pangs of loneliness. A recent Meta-Gallup survey shows that nearly one in four adults around the world—more than one billion people—don’t feel fully connected to others.

Ever since U.S. surgeon general Dr. Vivek Murthy proclaimed loneliness an epidemic in the United States, there’s been a flurry of activity to help people feel less alone. Legislation has been introduced in Congress to establish an Office of Social Connection Policy to advise the president. The World Health Organization launched the Commission on Social Connection. Mayors across the country have demanded funding to support more mental health programs in their cities and the staff to run them. And New York State governor Kathy Hochul appointed me Ambassador to Loneliness!

I lost my family in the Holocaust, and I could not have felt any lonelier because of that. While eventually I created a family in the typical sense, finding a life partner and having children and grandchildren, I never stopped pulling together a wider “chosen” family. I curated these bonds with absolute purpose. I went out of my way to find these friends and knit them together. And in doing so I became less lonely.

But getting to that point was hard. I grew up in an orphanage and was surrounded every minute of every day by other children. There was no privacy whatsoever! Yet on July 12, 1945, I confessed in my diary:

Above all, I’m longing for a friend.

And the next day, I wrote:

I live with 150 people—and am alone.

I now know what my seventeen-year-old self didn’t yet understand. Loneliness has nothing to do with the number of people around you. If you’re not meaningfully connected, if there’s no substance to your interactions, you will likely feel insignificant and unseen. But you can bring loneliness to its knees. Unlike a fatal disease, loneliness, I’ve learned, is curable.

In my view, the key to ridding your life of loneliness resides inside you. As a therapist, I’ve sat across from many clients who faced very real hardships and disabilities, and I was able to help most of them. But I could never make the kinds of changes they needed for them; I could only guide them. Therapists are expert advisers. It’s the individual seeking a new road who must take action.

But changing patterns of behavior takes effort. And this is why “Self” is the most important component of the Menu for Connection. You must pay attention to your thoughts, feelings, and actions, the ones that are holding you back from making the types of connections you most want. Self-awareness leads to coping strategies and solutions, builds self-esteem and confidence, and smooths communication with others so that you can nurture and maintain healthy relationships. With reflection, you’re able to identify areas for improvement and follow through with your aspirations.

So let’s begin by focusing our attention where it’s likely the hardest and most uncomfortable, but also where success is solely within your power: on yourself.

Look in the Mirror

The first step to fixing any problem is to admit that it exists. If loneliness is what is affecting you, then what better way to face your problem than to stand in front of a mirror and say it out loud? You may feel silly, you may cry, but having the problem out in the open is your first step toward making the necessary changes to become less lonely. Reading this book is proof to me that you’re aware of what’s causing you pain and you’re open to solutions. I have no doubt you’re on your way to building the kinds of connections you most want!

I’ve faced many difficult challenges in my life, as you’ll come to see as you read on. During a visit to Paris, where I had studied psychology at the Sorbonne in the early 1950s, I saw in a shop a ruby-red decorative sign for sale that immediately caught my eye. The words “It CAN be done” were emblazoned in English across the front in bright gold lettering. I didn’t buy it, but the owner of the store later sent it to me as a gift. He had noticed how much I admired it. The sign has been my treasure ever since, for more than forty years. I look at it whenever I feel discouraged.

What’s the difference between complaining to yourself that you’re lonely and saying it out loud? I’ve been a therapist throughout my career and can tell you that my clients began to heal the moment they admitted to having a problem. The road ahead will be hard, but just keep going. You are getting closer to feeling less alone and isolated. It CAN be done.

Make Peace with Yourself

You will not be able to sustain healthy relationships if you don’t love yourself first. No friend or sexual partner can do all that emotional heavy lifting for you, and worse, you might build walls around yourself that are so high that you’ll prevent anyone from scaling them.

I am not suggesting you brainwash yourself into thinking that you’re a gorgeous model if you’re not, and I am not asking you to ignore physical or mental disabilities that make your life more difficult. Brushing off hardship is not what I’m saying to do. My advice is to gradually accept what makes you different and begin relationship-building from there. To do this—and I realize that I am biased as a lifelong therapist—you might consider professional counseling.

As I write these words, I do, in fact, love myself, but I had a very hard time being OK with who I was when I was young. When I was seventeen years old, in 1945, I started the diary I mentioned earlier. I was exceptionally lonely back then, in part because I felt utterly unattractive. I’m so short, dumb, and ugly, I brooded. If I were normally grown, everything, everything would be much simpler. Being four foot seven put me so far outside the realm of normal that I was shocked to learn many years later that I was able to become pregnant. I thought carrying a child would be biologically impossible. (After having two children, and now four grandchildren, I’m still overjoyed that my fear was misplaced!)

If you struggle with a disability, loving yourself will be easier if you recognize the obstacles society puts in the way of your efforts to deepen friendships and have sex. If you’re a young woman and your friends are getting dressed together before heading to a party, you likely can’t join them in the same taxi or Uber if you’re confined to a wheelchair. (Or maybe you won’t even go because you worry you won’t be able to maneuver around the crowd.) Similarly, if you live in a group home, it’s likely there are no locks on your door and it’s impossible to have the kind of privacy that’s conducive to intimacy.

You must accept your reality. Focus instead on what makes you exceptional. Mental and physical differences don’t diminish your value. Only after I began to appreciate how smart I was and how advanced I was in school did I recognize that regardless of my height, I was worthy of love. I want the same for you.

Details:

Visit the Rodale Books Store

The Joy of Connections: 100 Ways to Beat Loneliness and Live a Happier and More Meaningful Life

Name: The Joy of Connections: 100 Ways to Beat Loneliness and Live a Happier and More Meaningful Life
Brand: Rodale Books
SKU: U0593736222
Price: 9.47 BHD
Availability: InStock

Product ID: U0593736222

Condition: New

^BHD9⁴⁷

Price includes VAT & Import Duties

Type: Hardcover

Availability: In Stock

Quantity:

Order today to get by 7-14 business days

Delivery fee of BHD 2. Free for orders above BHD 20.

Returns & Warranty policies

Imported From: United States

At BOLO, we work hard to ensure the products you receive are new, genuine, and sourced from reputable suppliers.

Every product in the BOLO catalogue is sourced through our Verified Global Supply Network of verified sellers, authorized distributors or directly from the manufacturer.

Each product undergoes thorough inspection and verification at our consolidation and fulfilment centers to ensure it meets our strict authenticity and quality standards before being shipped and delivered to you.

If you ever have concerns regarding the authenticity of a product purchased from us, please contact Bolo Support. We will review your inquiry promptly and, if necessary, provide documentation verifying authenticity or offer a suitable resolution.

Your trust is our top priority, and we are committed to maintaining transparency and integrity in every transaction.

While we strive to display accurate information, variations in packaging, labeling, instructions, or formulation may occasionally occur due to regional differences or supplier updates. For detailed or manufacturer-specific information, please contact the brand directly or reach out to BOLO Support for assistance.

Unless otherwise stated, all prices displayed on the product page include applicable taxes and import duties.

BOLO operates in accordance with the laws and regulations of Bahrain. Any items found to be restricted or prohibited for sale within the Bahrain will be cancelled prior to shipment. We take proactive measures to ensure that only products permitted for sale in Bahrain are listed on our website.

All items are shipped by air, and any products classified as “Dangerous Goods (DG)” under IATA regulations will be removed from the order and cancelled.

All orders are processed manually, and we make every effort to process them promptly once confirmed. Products cancelled due to the above reasons will be permanently removed from listings across the website.

Similar suggestions by Bolo

Books

Self-Help

Relationships

Friendship

Visit the Rodale Books Store

The Joy of Connections: 100 Ways to Beat Loneliness and Live a Happier and More Meaningful Life

Product ID: U0593736222

Condition: New

The Joy of Connections: 100 Ways to Beat Loneliness and Live a Happier and More Meaningful Life-0

Type: Hardcover

^BHD9⁴⁷

Price includes VAT & Import Duties

Availability: In Stock

Quantity:

Order today to get by 7-14 business days

Delivery fee of BHD 2. Free for orders above BHD 20.

Returns & Warranty policies

Imported From: United States

At BOLO, we work hard to ensure the products you receive are new, genuine, and sourced from reputable suppliers.

Every product in the BOLO catalogue is sourced through our Verified Global Supply Network of verified sellers, authorized distributors or directly from the manufacturer.

Your trust is our top priority, and we are committed to maintaining transparency and integrity in every transaction.

Unless otherwise stated, all prices displayed on the product page include applicable taxes and import duties.

All items are shipped by air, and any products classified as “Dangerous Goods (DG)” under IATA regulations will be removed from the order and cancelled.

Description:

Review

About the Author

Similar suggestions by Bolo

Books

Self-Help

Relationships

Friendship

Bahrain

Description:

Editorial Reviews

Review

About the Author

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

Details:

The Joy of Connections: 100 Ways to Beat Loneliness and Live a Happier and More Meaningful Life

Similar suggestions by Bolo

The Joy of Connections: 100 Ways to Beat Loneliness and Live a Happier and More Meaningful Life

Description:

Editorial Reviews

Review

About the Author

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

Details:

Similar suggestions by Bolo

Description:

Editorial Reviews

Review

About the Author

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

Details:

The Joy of Connections: 100 Ways to Beat Loneliness and Live a Happier and More Meaningful Life

Shipping Policies

Authenticity Guarantee

Product Disclaimer

Similar suggestions by Bolo

The Joy of Connections: 100 Ways to Beat Loneliness and Live a Happier and More Meaningful Life

Shipping Policies

Authenticity Guarantee

Product Disclaimer

Description:

Editorial Reviews

Review

About the Author

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

Details:

Similar suggestions by Bolo